Perhaps as essential as the assumption of innate sociality in children and adults is a respect for each individual as his own proprietor. The notion of ownership of other persons is absent among the Yequana. the idea that this is "my child or "your child" does not exist. Deciding what another person should do, no matter what his age, is outside the Yequana vocabulary of behaviors. there is great interest in what everyone does, but no impulse to influence- let alone coerce- anyone. A child's will is his motive force. (p.90)As you read that last sentence, those of you with children may shudder. If my four sprites were motivated by their will, they would be swimming in a vat of chocolate while playing X-Box and purchasing online products with my money. If, however, they were raised with the Yequana, they would be doing none of that and it would all work out... so, don't go the vat-of-chocolate route in your thinking.
Instead, consider the idea that we are each our own proprietor. We run our own general store. We are the CEO of our lives. Now, add to that the idea that others telling us what to do or using coercion to influence us is not part of their vocabulary. What freedoms would we have to be who we are? We wouldn't need to measure up because there would be no comparison. Competition? No. Bitterness? Probably not. Living our unique life supported by the interest of others? Yes.
Cool.
I may be going out on a limb here but I'm guessing none of my readers are Yequana so the challenge for us non-Yequanans is to adopt this concept in our own lives and see if it spreads like the ripples from the stone thrown into a pond. If we let go of our ownership of others and our culturally-taught tendency to try to influence their behavior, AND we take the position that they do not own us and we are proprietors of our own lives, we may start something.
If Grayson Chance can go viral and get a record contract (he's awesome, BTW) with Ellen, then perhaps we can start small and things will change. The irony is that the change we may want cannot be pushed... but we can be interested in it happening.
Live and let live. It's all good.
;-)
I cannot see what that would look like. What would it look like? I guess I am too much of a control freak...sad
ReplyDeleteYanno, Lucy just decided to wash the kitchen floor yesterday, when we thought she was asleep. It was dish soap all over. Suds, water... she even began washing the wooden chairs. In the middle was a very happy, shirtless 5-year-old, proud of her accomplishment and contribution to our family. Luckily, I remembered the Yequana before saying "WHAT ARE YOU DOING" and, instead, thanked her for her contribution and steered her toward letting me help her finish the job. It wasn't what I'd planned for my time but it was time well spent.
ReplyDelete