Pesky Visitors

Have you ever considered the role emotions play in practicing mediocrity? If pm is about acceptance and practicing wellness, then our ability to accept and potentially embrace the messiness of emotions is certainly involved.

I don't like to cry. It feels out of control and the more I hold back the more the controls slips down my cheek in salty tears and the more my face contorts into an ugly grimace. Control may be the key word here. Whenever I open to the uncomfortable emotion, whether it be sadness, anger, shame, happiness (yes, that can be uncomfortable, too) -- the emotion loses its power over me and I don't feel out of control, I just feel sad, angry, ashamed, happy...

Interesting.

I remember learning the concept of welcoming the unwelcome and asking the emotion we most want to push aside what it is here to teach us. Here's how it goes: Identify your most uncomfortable emotion and a situation where you remember feeling that way. OK, got it in mind? Do you kinda feel it? Good. Next, imagine that emotion as a visitor to your house. Rather than drawing the shades and pretending you aren't home, throw open the door, extend your arms and say, "Welcome, _____ ! I'm so glad you are here. What do you have to teach me?" If you aren't into this imagery, make up your own, but make it fun and easy.

Emotions tell us about ourselves and our discomfort with them tells us even more. My avoidance of crying tells me that feeling deeply and authentically sad is not an emotion I easily welcome. That tells me that I want to remain in control and I don't want to be emotionally messy any more than I want my closet out of order. Yea. Fits.

So, if I am to practice mediocrity with regard to my emotions, I need to let it get messy once in a while. Being deeply and authentically sad means I care deeply and authentically about someone or something. That's a wonderful quality to recognize in myself and a quality I appreciate in others.

This week, I am sad. I've thrown open the door and welcomed her in and she's planning to stay a while. I'm sure she'll want herbal tea and chocolate-chip cookies and sheets with a high thread-count. Blue.