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Friday, July 23, 2010

Embracing and Letting Go

Today, I made a mistake. This summer, we ran out of time.

The mistake was missing an appointment of my daughters. The running out of time was bigger-- it was for an application my husband and I had planned to complete by August 1st. I don't think it can happen. I have to let go. Part of PM (practicing mediocrity) is embracing imperfection. Imperfection is making the mistake on the appointment and not working enough ahead of time to complete the application (or not realizing it was biting off more than we could chew.) It hurts and I feel like a dork... like we failed.

I use the word "embracing" with intent-- it's not that we should accept imperfection, rather we should embrace it. Being imperfect is human and real and it is part of what makes us accessible to other humans. Think of someone you have met who seemed perfect. You knew, cognitively, that they couldn't really be perfect but they sure seemed that way-- in other words, you felt that they were perfect. That feeling overrides your cognition that they are not and you probably responded to them as if they were actually perfect.

It's a loaded relationship at this point, weighted heavily on top of you. I don't know how you responded to them but I would bet it directly reflected your emotionally-based belief that they were perfect. In my experience with this kind of relationship, I either worshipped, felt inferior, looked for chinks in the armor, or abandoned it all in search of someone who I didn't use as a yardstick. What a waste of time, energy, and a potentially wonderful relationship. It could be that I deemed them perfect and it could be that they worked to come across that way. Doesn't matter. The loss is what it is.

On the flip side, you've probably had a friend who was deliciously, openly, heartwarmingly human about an imperfection and I bet you loved and connected with them on a deeper level because of it. You could probably have emotionally wounded them in the process but you didn't. You sheathed your knife and opened your arms when they presented themselves transparently. Their vulnerability brought out your compassion because it was authentic.

In embracing imperfection and letting go and saying "I can't" or "I goofed" we put out our most vulnerable and human self. Interestingly, though, in that act of transparency and human-ness, we feel very strong and right (direction/balance, not correctness) with the world. It's not a small thing. If you check in with yourself, you'll feel it.

Try this at a tiny level. Practice Mediocrity by embracing a mistake or letting go of something you've assigned yourself and see how it feels. Be transparent and vulnerable. Embrace your human self.

Lata Alligata...
Daisy